Ways to get back into dating

25-May-2016 04:47 by 10 Comments

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“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chodron If there’s one thing that has led me the greatest amount of re-invention, it’s anxiety. Anxiety is a different animal that grabs a hold of you and halts you in your tracks. When anxiety becomes cyclic and seemingly out of your control, it’s still just a part of you.

Anxiety comes with some great treasures hidden inside, and they can be yours if you know how to get to them. It’s the voice of something else lying beneath that’s calling out to you. This is an important realization because it can help you shift from feeling victimized to feeling empowered. ” Anxiety can feel cyclic as it persists, and it’s easy to feel haunted or trapped by it. The body, a part of nature, always seeks a point of balance and rest.On the anniversary of a particularly painful breakup, where I convinced myself I had become less than a full person, I had my first panic attack.It completely bowled me over and continued to do so for 4 years as it tried to get me stop and heal. The experience of an anxiety so severe that I couldn’t leave my apartment was completely successful in making me turn my gaze away from the outside world to my inner world, where I seriously needed to focus. Who I became next was a happy, empowered, compassionate person who was more focused on matters of the heart and fulfilling myself than approval from others.Its methods of stopping you are varied and some of the common ones are: spinning thoughts, feeling disassociated, heavy breathing, and a racing heart. It can be a traumatic or painful event left unresolved (usually through having had an attitude of sucking-it-up, being tough, trying to forget etc.).Whatever works so that you’ll finally pay attention, it will customize for you. It can be someone or something you have yet to forgive, or a long running perception of lack that has hindered your growth for too long.

The loudest stop message can appear as a panic attack and causes a sensation that you feel like you’re going to die. My anxiety disorder came from high insecurity, an excessive need for validation, a frantic quest for completion through relationships, and an inability to acknowledge who I really was.Dying is the ultimate definition of stopping within our physical experience, and that’s why we can feel that way. Anxiety will not hurt you in that way; but until you catch on, start listening, and heal the source of the messages, it will keep trying to spin you around so that you’re facing it long enough to hear what it’s trying to say. I ran around trying to please others and attempting to be who they wanted me to be.First, you have to stop fighting and listen to the anxiety for clues. Most people who experience anxiety try to go after the symptoms more than its cause and try to fight it off as if it were the only thing to deal with. It can only continue as long as you delay tending to what’s beneath the message.That’s not how to go about it if you ever want to know how it happened, why it’s there, and how you can gain long-term freedom from it. Anxiety cannot cause you to feel discomfort forever.The anxiety message is simple; it’s just three words: STOP! When an experience like anxiety is pleading for you to stop and notice that you’re hurting, and you know this, your next step is to find that hurt. It will motivate you to heal, and then leave once you do.Its severity is proportionate to the scope of what you have to address—so if you feel like you’re going to die, look for something big! Anxiety messages can come from anything negative you’ve chosen to carry forward.

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