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29-Feb-2016 13:33 by 2 Comments

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One of the things a young comic does while on the road, is to showcase for free at clubs along the way.

Back in October 1998, I had the fortune of hanging with some great comics in Houston thanks to Ralphie May - my first road warrior partner.His friends let me crash on the sofa and I made dinner for them or cleaned up a little around the place. My next stop was the western post in Texas of El Paso.At night, I'd hang with them and do free spots at clubs in town. Since it was on the way, I called the manager of the San Antonio club for a guest spot.Lodging was presenting a problem, I'd called a bunch of cheap motels I'd spotted on the way which had no vacancies.A Mc Donald's bathroom would have to substitute for a green room before the pm show.I’d called the club manager to inquire if they had a comedy condo - sometimes a scourge of an apartment that's been sleeping one to three different comics a week for years and other times a beautiful place with a washer and dryer. The headliner was a magician with a whiskey and cigarette soaked voice who'd clearly done his act for years.

Most look like frat house guest holes where amateur porn is shot. He assured me there'd be no way his girlfriend would ever understand a chick staying in his room with him.

I said, "But I'm a comic not a chick." To which he replied, trying to muster all the flattery he could, "Oh trust me darlin', you're a chick." Okay, maybe the feature'd let me crash at his place. " No, I reaffirmed for him, hence the request in the first place.

"Well…" I almost started to plead, but he finally said, "Okay, but I'm gonna treat you like another guy.

Walk around in my underwear and stuff." "I promise not to look.

And thanks for helping me out, 'brother.'" As a result of the evening I spent there which was complete with after-show bonding with the headliner who, upon leaving, said something low and insinuating to the feature at the door which made them both share a comradish laugh and look over the shoulder in my direction …

after having to ward off simple verbal insinuations, after appearing from the bathroom in full flannel pajamas, after having to witness a display of his manhood to ensure him he's adequate (but first I said, "Lemme put my glasses on"), after sleeping for three hours and bolting upright in the rollaway bed that was a part of each of these rooms and hence truly not a problem to help another comedian, I got up at am and left quietly without waking him and got on the road.

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